10-ish Scripts for “Hurry Up” Moments

Cycle Breaking Parents often know what they do not want to do but that leaves a void that often feels overwhelming during tense moments. What do you say or do instead?

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Remember that there is no such thing as the perfect response. Your child is unique. You are unique. Expressing yourself authentically is more important than copying my words verbatim. So experiment. Try these and then tweak them to your family life. 

(This article references 4 Brain Types I cultivated over the past 20 years working with kids. There’s a quiz on my website to figure out your child’s type and articles about the types on Substack.)

Here is a non-exhaustive list of some scripts to manage the times you’re in a rush, to get you started. 

Try:

1. “We need to do 3 things to leave, what are they?”

(Hold up 3 fingers so they can touch each finger while repeating. Touchpoints help tactile learners’ working memory. Plus this gives some autonomy to our Exact brained or PDA kiddos.) If your child is less verbal, use photos or graphics from Canva so they can identify and touch the task they are working on.

2. “Get your fancy outfit on, shirt, shorts, and shoes and I’ll take a picture of you for Dad/Grandma.”

Some kids just want their own reason to do boring stuff and seeing themselves in photos is often enjoyable for Engaging or Emotional kids. Enterprising kids may want a photo of a cool ninja or ballet move instead. Exact kids are hit and miss on this one. But if they can wear a bow tie or hat or stick a pen in their pocket or something special that they think makes their outfit “just right” they will likely enjoy it too.

3. “Do you think you can finish buckling your car seat before “blast off”? 10-9-8-...” 

This brings some play into your routine, good for Engaging and Enterprising kiddos. Some kids find it’s too much pressure in which case they need either a longer countdown or they need some scaffolding on the task at hand so they feel capable.

4. “Hmmm….I need a helper….” and let child respond, then provide them a mission/task.

This lets Emotional children feel useful, and Enterprising kids feel determined. Exact children like to know how their actions create an impact and Engaging kids love games. This works especially well if you often point out when your kids are helping or being helpers. 

Example: “Thanks for being a helper, little man! When you put your toys in the bin, it helps keep our house feeling nice and open for playing.”

5. “Do you need a hug?” (or comfort/connection they enjoy)

Many kids resist rushing because it makes them feel disconnected, unseen, and unheard. They are trying to get connection so they slooooooow down, get silly, or panic and freeze or defy. When we notice and slow down and reconnect, many children will melt and feel cooperative again. This isn't manipulation or a tactic, it's a genuine connection because they need it like oxygen and honestly the oxytocin benefits us too!

6. Reset the energy.

I have a refrigerator sheet with ideas you can download here for free, because an energy reset can help everyone. Music or water are my 2 favorite ways. Humming, swaying, playful animal breaths, blowing bubbles (yes into milk counts), or gurgling can all reset the nervous system. 

7. Take the lead. Scoop up your toddler or preschooler and carry them to the car. 

This goes smoothest when you’re calm and you have soft/gentle hands. Kisses or soothing “I’ve got you,” can also be appropriate. Empathize: “I know you don’t want to leave. I have to go and I’m sorry bud. I’d feel mad too if I were you.” Remind yourself this isn’t an emergency and young children often need physical help. Keep your body in helping mode. If you have more than one young child, start with the youngest (or most likely to elope) and get them secured before moving to the next child. 

8. If your child is older than preschool, collaborate with them.

(You can try a little younger but they aren’t really ready for perspective taking until 5-5.5 so it’s not always fruitful.)

“Hey dude, I’ve seen the last 4 days this week have felt chaotic and I want them to go smoother, how about you? What do you see as the tasks that must get done in the morning? What part is the easiest? What part is the hardest? What makes it hard? What would make it more fun? Do you want more support or more freedom? Let’s make a schedule together and then we’ll make tweaks to it until it works for us both.” 

And this one isn’t a script - but important to remember. 

9. You’re the parent. This is YOUR schedule/routine. 

Of course your beautiful in-the-moment children aren’t particularly concerned about the adult time constraints. They aren’t meant to be.

And you can change it to better suit your family right now. 

• You can take your kid in their pj’s or just dress them in tomorrow's clothes at bedtime.

• You can have a set of “car shoes” to avoid the front porch shoe battle. 

• You can find some travel-friendly breakfasts. 

• You can go to bed earlier (slowly shift this).  

• You can stop doing so many activities. 

• You can say no. 

• You can slow down in your own body. 

10. Keep development in mind. 

Being “on time” requires a host of executive functioning skills that are still barely developing in children. That area of the brain is going to keep developing and improving until their mid twenties. So when you have a 4 year old or even a 14 year old who still needs help - good, they are supposed to. 

Children are doing the best they can with the current brain, body, development, and resources they have. If they aren’t doing well then as their guide, we have to get curious and see which part of their toolkit needs support or an upgrade. 

Around 18 months old, children discover, “I do it I-self.” And that’s a great time to start shifting from doing-for all the time, to deciphering which skills they are working on and providing enough support they can be successful but not so much they aren’t challenged. This is what scaffolding means. If we keep kids in their Zone of Proximal Development they will keep learning and improving without getting too overwhelmed. 

If they are too overwhelmed it’s not for us to tell us they are wrong, it’s for us to get curious again and tweak our approach. 

There is no such thing as getting this all right all the time. Perfect is not a condition in the human experience. We’re messy and always growing and our missteps often take us on journeys we never knew we needed. Someone said to me last night in fact, “Wrong paths can lead to the right place.” And I loved that!!

As always, if you blow up, shout, shame, or otherwise flip your own lid: Stop, Regulate, and then Repair. (More on that later too.)

You’ve got this!! 

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